Actions speak louder than words. If you are truly sorry
             for something you do, how about not doing it again?!

 I found this on a friend of  friend's journal. I really liked it. I feel as if some people do not care if they hurt me. I feel as if my opinions don't matter. I'm along for the ride, but I have no say of where we go. I keep getting apologized to, but then sometime later it happens again. I have so many things on my mind. So many hopes. So many worries. I am worried about so many different things, but when I ask questions I don't get answers. I'm told that I should know the answer. With recent events having passed I don't know the answer. I fear that in not giving me an answer people say that I am right about my worrying. There are times I trust, and then there are times that my mind is set on what they are doing, and I have no doubt that I am probably right. I feel bad when that happens, but if you don't have an explanation for me and tell me I should just trust you? Do I trust that? I feel horrible to be trying to drag it out. I feel like me trying to drag it out will just turn them back to the dark side. I do not want that, but how am I supposed to help if they will not talk to me? Is it my fault if what I fear is true? Is it my fault that they are going back to the dark side? Have I done something to cause this? Have I done something to deserve this.
 In writing this I feel a little better, but there are so many things I cannot put into words very well yet. I cannot put my fingers on the exact emotions yet. I will see how all of this goes. I'm taking a step, hopefully tommorow, that could either make or break things. If people won't listen things are going to continue to fall apart till it would hardly be worth putting them back together. If they listen maybe things can be mended. It's going to take more effort from them than they have been giving. We shall see how it goes. My heart has some hope... but mostly I feel defeated.